It looks like we’ll have to wait a little bit longer to hear the soothing sound of Queen Lizzie’s voice as she reads someone else’s words.

It couldn’t get any more comical. The reason for the delay is apparently because the words are written on goat skin parchment which, and I’m not joking, takes a few days to dry. I’m not sure if that is the real reason but I’ll happily believe it because why the fuck not.

The idea that this whole farce is triggered by something so trivial as ink drying is as hilarious as it is worrying. Let’s be honest, the whole things is an outdated tradition anyway. Is it really necessary for a 91-year-old woman to read out words she possibly doesn’t even understand for the sole reason of up keeping tradition? Then again, this country is full of outdated traditions, isn’t it?

I would love it if the Queen just thought fuck it and decided to go and say whatever the fuck she wants. I almost want to see the queen rip up the piece of paper and say forget the Tory’s, forget Labour and forget the DUP, I’m taking back control of this god forsaken country. There’s been so much talk of this country falling back to the 70’s that we might as well go a few hundred years further back. That would be the icing on the top of this bitter cake.

Anyway, this is yet another thing that’s made even more hilarious by the familiar words “Strong and Stable.” I keep thinking that joke is over, yet the next day something else pops up to highlight the irony of it all. I hope that slogan haunts the Tory party for years to come, that would make me feel better about the whole situation.

I also hope Jeremy Corbyn is watching this all unfold with a cigar in his mouth and a smug look on his face. I know that’s not exactly his style but I’d like to believe that’s what he does in his own time. It’s all coming up Corbyn, and I think people are starting to realise it.

Soon enough we’ll get to see the queen walk up to that golden throne wearing the world’s most expensive headgear surrounded by a bunch of people wearing overpriced wigs as she explains how the country is going to get better for the working class. If there’s anything more ironic than the slogan strong and stable, it’s that scene right there.